Saturday, September 19, 2026

Caveman Issues Dire Warning That The Wheel Is Going To Eliminate Countless Jobs


GĂ–BEKLITEPE — The invention of the wheel may lead to massive job loss, according to a caveman who sounded the alarm to warn the rest of caveman society.

Local caveman Gorg issued an urgent plea that the wheel wasn't the innovative time-saver it was touted to be. In fact, it may very well lead to complete and total economic collapse.

"Ugh!" Gorg warned, perfectly articulating that the wheel would cost many cavemen their jobs. "Oog!"

Ironically, his warnings may have crippled the job market prematurely. Prominent hunters and gatherers said they were now taking a wait-and-see approach to the wheel to see if the invention shakes out before they invest hard-earned rocks into it.

"Wheel! Ooo gug," said gatherer and local celebrity Moog. "Grug?"

Protests against the wheel were already spreading across the valley, though they might be spreading faster if they'd make use of the wheel.

The wheel's inventor, Krag, dismissed Gorg's warning as classic alarmism. "Gorg is Neanderthal. Wheel will create thousands of new jobs, which is big deal because there are only 100 people alive right now. We will have new jobs you've never even heard of — all existing to support wheel."

Krag added, "Wheel doesn't spin on its own. Who will push carts full of rocks if not cavemen?"

At publishing time, Krag had filed for rock bankruptcy. "Me just don't think world is ready for wheel," he said.

https://babylonbee.com/news/caveman-issues-dire-warning-that-the-wheel-is-going-to-eliminate-countless-jobs

New Underground Railroad Established To Help Lone Black Juror Escape From Angry White Liberals In The North

PLYMOUTH, MA — Reports indicated that a modern "Underground Railroad" had been established to help the lone black juror from the Lindsay Clancy case escape from angry, violent, white Democrats.

Though shrouded in secrecy, the new Underground Railroad would purportedly use checkpoints along the Atlantic coast to help shepherd the black man away from the thousands of white Northern liberals who have threatened him with violence.

"We've got to get him to the South," said an operative, on condition of anonymity. "He'll be safe if he can just get below that Mason-Dixon line. The Republicans won't let anyone touch him. It's not going to be easy, though. There are mobs of bloodthirsty white liberals all over the North, looking for a lynching. And the feminists. Dear Lord, the feminists. He's secure right now, but we've got our work cut out for us."

Volunteers had reportedly prepared to hide the juror in houses, church basements, and Chick-fil-A stockrooms along the escape route. "We've got our people looking out for any sign of danger, like a shirt saying 'Love Is Love' or 'Believe All Women,'" explained a pastor working the trail. "It's a little different direction from the old Railroad, but it's still black people fleeing angry white Democrats who want to do them harm and force them to do their bidding. Some things never change, I guess."

At publishing time, the juror had reportedly made it safely across the Pennsylvania border after narrowly escaping a mob carrying "BE KIND" signs.

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-underground-railroad-established-to-help-lone-black-juror-escape-from-angry-white-liberals-in-the-north

WHCA President Jacqui Heinrich Gets Schooled With a Major Fact Check After Issuing Statement About Legacy Media ‘Reporters’ Being Denied White House Entry

Credit: Wikimedia Commons

White House Correspondents’ Association (WHCA) President and Fox News reporter Jacqui Heinrich is being dragged online for her constitutionally illiterate response to the revocation of White House access for three legacy .

As previously reported, reporters from CNN, MSNOW, and POLITICO were rudely awakened today when they tried to enter the White House grounds.

After being denied, CNN’s Betsy Klein and MSNOW’s Akayla Gardener revealed their respective experiences. Neither handled themselves all that well.

POLITICO later teased their “next steps,” which suggests a possible lawsuit.

Heinrich slammed the ’s action in a statement on X. She said they were violating the First Amendment, and demanded that the outlets’ press access be restored immediately.

Here is her full statement:

Today’s action revoking access for journalists from CNN, POLITICO, and MSNOW violates the First Amendment. The implications extend beyond these organizations: a standard used to exclude one news outlet because of its coverage could be applied to any outlet in the future.

The American people, through a free and independent press, must be able to scrutinize those elected to power, regardless of whether government officials view it favorably.

That’s why courts have repeatedly held that once the White House provides access to journalists, it cannot deny that access arbitrarily or based on the content of their reporting.

The WHCA calls on the administration to immediately restore our colleagues’ access.

The statement quickly backfired when X users pointed out a couple of issues with Heinrich’s assertions.

First, they noted that Heinrich remained silent when revoked the White House credentials of over 400 reporters during his regime.

Second and most importantly, Heinrich was reminded that while press outlets have the constitutional right to cover the presidency, they do not have the same right to be inside the White House. This is a privilege.

She should know better.

Here’s more from Grok about what the First Amendment actually says regarding press coverage:

As The Gateway Pundit reported, Trump on Friday announced on Truth Social that he had banned CNN, MSNOW, and Politico from the White House for constantly reporting “FAKE NEWS.”

“I am proud to announce that, effective immediately, I am banning Fake News CNN, MSNOW (who recently changed their name from MSNBC due to lack of viewership and credibility!), and Politico (The recipients of an illegal and ridiculous $8 Million Dollar subscription, an All Time Record, directly from the United States Government, under Crooked Joe Biden, in order to keep them “alive.”),” Trump said.

Trump’s decision to ban CNN, MSNOW, and Politico from the White House will almost certainly spark a legal battle.

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/09/whca-president-jacqui-heinrich-gets-schooled-major-fact/

Mayor Mamdani secretive U20 world summit — pushing his far-left agenda with global elites

 NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani hosted lefty leaders from across the globe on Saturday to kick off a three-day summit pushing progressive agenda items like dealing with climate change.

Mamdani delivered opening remarks at the Urban 20 Summit in New York City, where he and other mayors discussed “practical solutions” to address “rising housing costs, the climate crisis and migration,” according to a propaganda press statement released by the socialist mayor’s media team.

Details of the summit were scarce and released Soviet-style.

Most of Saturday’s activities were closed to the press. Only select media – which did not include The Post – were allowed to attend the mayor’s opening remarks, and the location was not disclosed.  

NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani hosted lefty leaders from across the globe on Saturday to kick off a three-day summit pushing progressive agenda items like dealing with climate change.

The mayor’s schedule noted he planned to visit an undisclosed wastewater treatment plant with Helsinki Mayor Daniel Sazanov, Barcelona Mayor Jaume Collboni and Rome Mayor Roberto Gualtieri, with approved footage to be made available later in the day.

It also noted he planned to meet privately at undisclosed sites with Collboni and Amsterdam Mayor Femke Halsema. 

In all, 25 mayors and other leaders representing 34 cities worldwide are expected to attend the three-day summit with only select media given access.

During his opening remarks, Mamdani welcomed leaders both foreign and domestic to the Big Apple, claiming they all share common goals, including trying to make their cities more affordable, dealing with “the growing impact of the climate crisis,” and fighting off right-wingers who make it “their mission to demonize and terrorize immigrants.”

“As we hold panels, conversations and plenary sessions, my sincere hope is that this conference marks only the beginning of a new era of cooperation and emulation,” crowed Mamdani, who posted footage of his remarks on social media. 

Los Angeles Deputy Mayor of International Affairs for Los Angeles Dilpreet Sidhu is co-chairing the U20 summit.

In all, 25 mayors and other leaders representing 34 cities worldwide are expected to attend the three-day summit.

Los Angeles is co-hosting the Big Apple-based event with the Mamdani administration.

LA Deputy Mayor of International Affairs Dilpreet Sidhu, who also addressed the leaders, and Mamdani are serving as co-chairs of the summit.

Pramono Anung, the governor of Jakarta, Indonesia, is also reportedly attending the U20, as is Mexico City’s Head of Government Clara Brugada.

Reps for Mamdani did not return messages.

https://nypost.com/2026/09/19/us-news/mamdani-hosts-private-u20-world-summit-with-other-lefty-leaders/

Report: Rep. Lauren Boebert Accused of Having Sexual Relationships with Three Staffers


Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) allegedly had sexual relationships with three of her staffers, a complaint filed with the House Ethics Committee claims, according to a report from American Muckrakers.

David B. Wheeler, the founder of American Muckrakers, claims in the report that in a “sworn ethics complaint” he filed, Boebert is alleged to have had sexual relationships with Clarice Navarro, Raven Finegan, and Jeffrey Small.

The report claims that the American Muckrakers’ “sources have direct knowledge of the relationship between Navarro and Boebert through text messages, bank records, court documents, and recorded conversations.”

According to the report, Navarro, who served as “Boebert’s District Director from January 2021 to January 2025,” and Boebert engaged in sexual relations “during and after office hours, in the district office itself, in a vehicle for which Navarro collected House mileage reimbursements, and in hotel rooms paid for by Boebert’s campaign.”

The report also claims that along with receiving roughly $449,391.63 “in total House pay” over the course of four years, Navarro also received “$30,650 in year-end bonuses, paid from taxpayer funds in the fourth quarter of every single year of her employment” and that the year-end bonuses Navarro received were for “the relationship, not for official work.”

Navarro also allegedly received “$200,000 in or about March 2025” after she left her role with Boebert and allegedly told the congresswoman “she intended to file an ethics complaint, and that a payment of approximately $200,000 was then made to her to make it go away.” The report notes that “the source of the funds is unknown.”

According to the report, “sources claim that Navarro and Boebert got into a ‘knock-down, drag-out and physical argument’ at Hooch Aspen, a cocktail bar:

In one bizarre incident, our sources claim that Navarro and Boebert got into a “knock-down, drag-out and physical argument”, at Hooch Aspen, owned by one-time lover of Boebert and participant in the “Beetlejuice Boebert” incident, Quinn Gallagher.

According to our sources, Navarro was upset with Boebert flirting with Gallagher and a fight ensued. Our sources claim there is a video of the fight inside Hooch Aspen. We are seeking to locate this video and will post here and turn over to investigators when we receive it.

A source allegedly claimed that “Boebert and Navarro had a threesome” with former Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), according to the report.

The report also claims that Boebert allegedly had a sexual relationship with Finegan, who is “Boebert’s current District Chief of Staff,” and with Small, who served as “Boebert’s Chief of Staff from 2021 to 2025.”

According to the report, Small “collected $767,892 in taxpayer-funded salary before departing in January 2025 with a $10,000 campaign payment on his way out the door.”

In a screenshot of apparent messages shared in the report from American Muckrakers, Jayson Boebert, the Congresswoman’s ex-husband, stated, “It is all a fairy tale made up propaganda” and added that they had “bad sources” when asked if he was “aware of the affair.”

In May 2023 Breitbart News’s Paul Bois reported that on April 25 Boebert filed for divorce from her husband, stating that the marriage was “irretrievably broken.”

Gaetz responded to a post on X which claimed that Boebert had affairs with Navarro, Finegan, and Small, along with having a “threesome” with Gaetz and Navarro.

“I am requesting that anyone with video of me in this alleged ‘threesome’ release said evidence IMMEDIATELY!” Gaetz wrote in his post. “Unedited, please.”

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2026/09/19/report-rep-lauren-boebert-accused-having-sexual-relationships-three-staffers/


American Patriot Drops Massive Truth Bomb Live on CNN as ‘Reporter’ Whimpers About Getting Blocked from Entering the White House

Betsy Klein speaks at the White House about getting banned from the grounds. 

An American patriot spoke for the whole country today as he heard CNN whine about being banned from entering the .

As TGP reported, CNN’s Betsy Klein revealed today that she had been barred from entering the White House. Her press pass was deactivated.

She did not handle the situation well during the interview about the incident.

As Klein whimpered about her ban from the White House, the voice of a man could be heard in the background roasting CNN with this huge truth bomb.

“Tell the truth!” He yelled. “If you tell the truth, then you won’t get revoked.”

“Tell the truth.”

CNN and its viewers surely were not expecting that!

WATCH:

CNN would be smart to heed this wise patriot’s advice on the matter. If so, they could once again regain access to .

But CNN appears set to double down on its lies.

The Gateway Pundit previously reported that President Trump on Friday announced on Truth Social that he had banned CNN, MSNOW, and Politico from the White House for constantly reporting “FAKE NEWS.”

Trump also warned that other fake news media outlets would be next.

“I am proud to announce that, effective immediately, I am banning Fake News CNN, MSNOW (who recently changed their name from MSNBC due to lack of viewership and credibility!), and Politico (The recipients of an illegal and ridiculous $8 Million Dollar subscription, an All Time Record, directly from the Government, under Crooked Joe Biden, in order to keep them “alive.”),” Trump said.

Trump’s decision to ban CNN, MSNOW, and Politico from the White House will almost certainly spark a legal battle.


https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/09/watch-american-patriot-drops-massive-truth-bomb-live/

Caveman Issues Dire Warning That The Wheel Is Going To Eliminate Countless Jobs

GĂ–BEKLITEPE — The invention of the wheel may lead to massive job loss, according to a caveman who sounded the alarm to warn the rest of cave...