FIREBALL!
One minute you’re on your motorcycle with the wind in your hair, fleeing cops at over 100 miles per hour, and suddenly, BOOM! You look like a Buddhist monk with an ax to grind.
Dash-cam video has surfaced of a highspeed chase on October 13 at roughly 1:11 a.m. involving Arkansas State Troopers and a man on a motorcycle who refused to pull over.
A state trooper noticed the motorcycle didn’t have a license plate so the cop lit him up—oops, I mean turned on his police lights. The biker decided to hit the blast and a high-speed pursuit began. The motorcycle was clocked at one point doing 120 miles per hour. The nearly 10-minute chase took place on side streets and three interstates. The biker blew off stop signs and red lights and even drove into oncoming traffic to dodge the cops.
The biker eventually fled into a residential neighborhood where he ditched his sport cycle and apparently thought—even though he couldn’t lose the cops on a motorcycle—he could perhaps outrun them.
FACT-O-RAMA! The Darwin Awards pay homage to people who die as a result of spectacularly stupid ideas. The biker you are reading about survived, and may only receive an honorable mention. Whereas I want to say that resisting arrest never really works out well and motorcycles can go places police cars can’t. Deciding to flee on foot is one of several insanely stupid ideas the biker came up with that night.
As the man was running away, a trooper told him to stop and warned that he was about to deploy his stun gun. The man kept running, and the officer fired his taser. The man instantly burst into flames. The fleeing felon became a flaming idiot. Fire engulfed much of his body. The man had a container of gas in his backpack, and it erupted when a taser dart hit it.
DARWIN-O-RAMA! Running from the cops with a container of gas in his backpack is undoubtably the dumbest choice this man made that night.
The burning man then struggled to and fro and eventually rolled around on the grass. Troopers ran back to their squad car for a fire extinguisher and doused the man, who by now was no longer interested in fleeing. He had a change of strategy and began yelling, “Help me! Help me!”
HIPPY-O-RAMA! Burning Man is a yearly event where a bunch of filthy beatnik-wannabees go to the Nevada desert to take drugs, have unprotected sex, and dodge soap and water for a few days.
By then, the man and the cops were choking on smoke. The cops told him repeatedly to put his hands behind his back. The man said, “I can’t breathe” (where did we hear that one before?). Another cop responded with, “None of us can, put your hands behind your back!”
The bar-b-qued biker then asked the cops to remove his metal biker jacket, as I’m guessing it was quite hot. He was then led away in cuffs.
UNRELATED: I can’t find another PJ Media article where an idiot finds himself engulfed in the flames of consequences, so let’s go with some good ole Florida Man Friday stories: Florida Man Friday: Can You Swim Faster Than a Police Helicopter Can Fly?
“Unbeknownst to the Troopers, the suspect had a canister of gas in his backpack,” stated Police Pursuits, the YouTube channel that posted the video. “The TASER prongs likely punctured the can. Burns were mostly superficial, but obviously very painful. He is expected to make a full recovery.”
The perp was whisked to the burn unit at the Arkansas Children’s Hospital for treatment. He is charged with first-degree reckless driving, driving on a suspended license, and felony fleeing.
This isn’t the first time a taser has caused someone to combust. Jason Jones, 29, doused his shirtless self in hand sanitizer at a Catskill, N.Y., police department. Moments later, he began to tussle with the police and was tased. He burst into flames and later died of his injuries.
What Have We Learned?
Resisting arrest is a horrible idea. Ditching your motorcycle to run away from the cops on foot is also not recommended. Most importantly, if you have a can of gas in your backpack and there is even a minimal chance of getting tased, stop moving. Maybe, just maybe, getting a citation for having no license plate isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you.
You can see the full video, including the chase, below. The fireworks start at about the 9:16 mark.
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