Even Mohammed had to start somewhere.
At a Ramada between the Schnitzel Platz and the Darussalam mosque, Islamists held a convention to discuss the conquest of the world. And, if the world was too ambitious a target, at the very least, India.
The Ramada was a humble base for the world conquerors of Hizb ut-Tahrir America flying the black flag of the Caliphate in a miserable hotel that Yelp reviews panned for rooms that, “smelled like a mixture of hookers, smoke, and hepatitis”, environs that made guests think they were “going to get shanked, raped or even both”, and the warning that, “even if this is the last hotel room in Illinois, DO NOT STAY HERE.”
But even Mohammed had to start in a hotel somewhere. And the Ramada of Mecca was even worse.
Many alumni of the global Hizb ut-Tahrir have gone on to bigger and better things. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed masterminded 9/11 and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi went on to create the terror group that would turn into ISIS. But after a decade of conferences, Hizb ut-Tahrir America is still failing.
Where its cousins in the UK and Australia had thousands of members, assaulting African Christians, forcing women to wear hijabs, calling for beheadings and honor killings, Hizb ut-Tahrir America is stuck in the world’s worst Ramada, trying to sell another Islamic conquest of a resurgent India.
The Chicago suburb of Glendale Heights had traditionally been home to German and Polish immigrants before being swamped by migrants and refugees. Glendale Heights was one of Illinois’ top destinations for refugee resettlement, there’s an ICNA, and assorted other Islamist infrastructure all over the place.
The Ramada had also been the site of Hizb ut-Tahrir America’s Khilafah or Caliphate conference last year which once again called for the establishment of an Islamic theocracy whose laws would no doubt necessitate the enslavement, rape, and murder of much of the population of the planet.
This year, Hizb ut-Tahrir America was celebrating the anniversary of the conquest of Constantinople at the Ramada. The Islamic genocide being celebrated near the Schnitzel Plaza with the hashtag #ConquestofIstanbul saw the streets covered in bodies and blood, men impaled, women and children raped by the armies of Mehmet II, the pedophile ruler who maintained a harem of young men.
As every devout Muslim “divinely guided” ruler should.
The theme of this year’s conference was using the subjugation of Constantinople, or as Hizb ut-Tahrir, whose name means Party of Liberation, called it, “The Liberation of Constantinople”, as a model. After being “liberated”, Constantinople ceased to exist. That is what happens when Islamists liberate things.
The Ramada in Glendale Heights might have been a nice place once, but after being liberated, guests claim that the toilets are dirty, there’s hair in the shower, and unmentionable substances on the mirror.
But that’s what happens when the Caliphate comes to town.
"Our pain and suffering is across the world," declared a nameless speaker. "From China, all the way to Libya, and also here in the West."
And especially in the Ramada of Glendale Heights.
After an extensive denunciation of the Indian infidels and their attempts to keep out Islamic illegal aliens from Pakistan, he angrily complained that the triple talaq, which allows Muslim men to divorce their wives by texting them, “I divorce you” three times, was being outlawed to protect Muslim women.
“Even our marital law is being legislated against,” the future caliph whined. Things haven’t gone so well since the group that "will carry the Jihad towards India and across the world” had its big day.
After talking up the conquest of India, he complained that "Islam ruled India for centuries and then it eventually came under colonial occupation."
It always sucks when your colonial occupation comes under somebody else’s colonial occupation.
Sultan Ghiyasuddin Dhamgani is described as having ordered his men to impale Hindu prisoners, and then "their wives were killed and tied by their hair to these poles. Little children were massacred on the bosoms of their mothers and their corpses left there."
As colonial occupations go, no one beats the Islamic colonial occupations which leave nothing except mosques, Koran memorization contests, and mountains of skulls.
Tamerlane coolly describes beheading 10,000 people so that, "the sword of Islam was washed in the blood of the infidels."
Mahmud of Ghazni's secretary had recorded taking "500,000 slaves beautiful men and women” from among the "enemies of Allah". While the enemies of Allah are all non-Muslims, these particular enemies would have been Hindus. Why these male and female slaves had to be described as "beautiful" by these devout Muslims is best left to the imagination of anyone familiar with the haram bisexual harems.
These are the glories of Islamic liberation. They are as lovely as the unclean toilets of the Ramada.
"Allah promised the Ummah (Muslims) in the Koran that they will inherit this earth," Taiseer Hussein, a Hizb ut-Tahrir member, ranted in a second speech. "That the Ummah will rule over this earth."
That included the imminent conquests of Rome, India, Israel, and Spain.
"We, as a nation, will witness, Allah willing, the return of the Caliphate upon the method of the Prophet and then as a nation, we will open Rome and liberate Palestine and the rest," the rant went. "Under the Caliphate, Rome will be opened, Kashmir will be liberated, India will be liberated, Palestine will be liberated, Andalusia... Sometimes we forget about Andalusia, which is known as Spain."
It wouldn’t do to forget Spain, while preaching the conquest of the world from Glendale Heights.
Hizb ut-Tahrir claims that it’s a non-violent organization. But what exactly was the “method of the Prophet”? And India was conquered through the genocide of countless millions of Hindus.
The “rule of Allah” that Hizb ut-Tahrir’s Sharia nerds wax rhapsodic over was mass murder.
But Hizb ut-Tahrir’s agenda appears to have been largely plagiarized from the local branch of the Communist Party. There’s a lot of fulminating about “imperialists” and “colonialists”.
Phrases like, "the struggle against the disbelieving imperialists" and "struggle against the Kufr colonialist states" make the whole thing read like it was written by Noam Chomsky.
After he said the Shahada and took four wives.
While Islamists like to keep the red-green alliance going by appropriating and recontextualizing buzzwords from the red, Hizb ut-Tahrir often goes full Marxist with its entire worldview.
There's a great emphasis on the "stages" of the struggle by the Party. The Hizb ut-Tahrir America program calls for "culturing the individuals in its circles by the concentrated Party culture until it had managed to form a party structure from people who were melted by Islam, and who had adopted the thoughts of the Party and had interacted with these thoughts and conveyed them to the people."
There are entire Orwellian paragraphs filled with Marxist jargon about, "affiliating the people to the Party is through their embracing of the Islamic ‘aqeedah, their maturity in the Party culture, and by their adoption of the thoughts and opinions of the Party. The person in question imposes himself on the Party, when he melts into it, and when the da’wah interacts with him and he adopts the thoughts and the concepts of the Party." There’s more of this Marxist gibberish than there are Koranic quotes.
The irony of Hizb ut-Tahrir is that it compulsively denounces secularism, but its agenda is badly plagiarized from Maoism and whatever random Trotskyite pamphlets it found in the mall.
Even Hizb ut-Tahrir’s attacks on democracy are just an adaptation of the Communist line.
Hizb ut-Tahrir insists that all the world needs is Islam. But it can’t even manage to put together a program of the Islamic Reconquista without resorting to great Islamic scholars like Ho Chi Minh, Mao Zedong, and Vladimir Lenin who, at least, had a Muslim grandfather lurking in his family tree.
The Islamist group has the grandiose vision of ISIS, it squawks about an Islamic State, but has no ability to implement it. That’s why its former members went on to found ISIS and mastermind 9/11. It has the complex doctrinal plans of the Muslim Brotherhood, but, despite all the theory, none of the infrastructure of cells and influential members with an actual pathway to taking over countries.
Hizb ut-Tahrir outfits in the UK and Australia got attention and members by being provocative. But Hizb ut-Tahrir America already had trouble booking hotels, and now it’s stuck in a dirty Ramada vowing that India, and then Rome, Israel, India, and finally Spain, will fall to the faithful forces of Islam.
And until then the dirty bathrooms belongs to the Jihad.
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